The best drug

Unknowingly_
you seeped into my system.
Rapidly_
I found myself hooked.
With you_
I had the best high.
Withdrawals_
break me down.

Shelter

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties." 

"To establish ties?" 

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....” 

-The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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My endeavor to brighten my life up again is more challenging than I thought. It is hard to take care of one's social life when university is so demanding. 

To be honest, I don't know if I belong here. But fate has led me here, and I know I am blessed to have it. After these next two years are over, I am sure I will look back at my memories of university fondly... but as it currently stands, my school life is fairly bleak. I want to make more memories, so I don't graduate and regret missing out on experiences and memories I can only make now. I want to put myself out there and join a club to meet new people. But I also know I can't join just any club... I need a place where I can escape the stress of academic responsibilities and where I think I can connect with the people. Well, as the semester comes to a close, this evidently becomes a problem that I need not stress myself over now.

Good night world :)

「新しい」means something -new-

College has really taken a toll on me; I feel tired, stressed, and alone more often than I'd like. I don't have time to myself anymore; I haven't touched the piano or painted in months. I was never an extremely social person to begin with, but that was not a problem to me before because I always ended up surrounded by friends even when I tried to be alone. Now, I have a few select, close friends, but I do not connect very well with the people in the environment around me. Being in this new environment certainly changes my perspective on the things I had before and took for granted. 

I feel as if the life in me is withering away. When was the last time I could stare at the sky and still be overwhelmed by its beauty? The sky is always above us, but never the same. Yet I stare at it now, and I can't think of anything but my academic responsibilities. This change in me was most evident when I opened the gallery in my phone a couple days ago and everything in my photo album was just pictures of notes and lectures. Just two years ago, I could open the same app in my phone and pictures of everything that went to this blog would be there. I've forgotten to notice and appreciate the little things.

I loved the me that could accept everything; the me that could find beauty in a blurry photo, or a patch of grass- unconventional beauty. Since I've been studying Japanese in my own time since last summer, I think it is time for something 「新しい」/ atarashii. 

I went to sleep early last night feeling depressed, and tired after pulling an all-nighter the night before. I woke this morning at 4am on my own and took a shower. I had planned to go back to sleep right after, but I ended up idling away on Youtube. Some time later, I realized the windows in my room had fogged up, and a childish spirit overcame me. I decided to write on the window. What came out, came naturally.

おはよございます：）//ohayogozaimasu

今日は新しい日です！ //kyou wa atarashii hi desu

がんばろう！ //ganbarou

[Good morning :)

Today is a new day!

Good luck!]

Of course, this is something very simple. 

Every day is a new day. 

We shouldn't let past events drag us down. We all strive to be the best versions of ourselves we can be. It is hard to be yourself when life is, truthfully, very tough. But remember to refresh yourselves every morning and prepare to tackle life's challenges head on!

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「新しい」

In hiragana, you would see this be written as 「あたらしい」.　The romaji to pronounce these characters is atarashii. Fun fact: the kanji 「新」also means "new" in Chinese; the pinyin for this is Xīn.

Broad Horizons

Always search for more things to look forward to

The Road to Recovery

She tried to pick up the pieces he shattered
She knew she couldn't smile the same way
couldn't find the right words to say
couldn't, for the love of life, "go back to normal" again
but time taught her to move on
and learn from each scar she carried

We tend to cluster.

Something to Discover